Books: The Cheapest Vacation You Can Buy











Screw God and the UniverseFrom Goodreads: A comedic, violent, and surreal interpretation of the afterlife. The story is an epic battle between the Devil, God, and a Dentist. The Devil wants to destroy the universe and himself because he is bored with living. Nothing in this story makes any sense but in a good way.

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I can’t help but think the title of this novel needs another comma. I feel it should read: Screw, God, and the Universe. And I feel this way because Screw is a person, Satan, in fact, so the title shouldn’t be taken as a mantra to “screw God and the Universe,” which is what I feel like it’s sort of trying to say, except for that pesky comma hanging out there… but grammar aside, I have to say that I really didn’t care for this one at all.

It starts off with God creating the universe, and mainly, earth, due to a drunken bet. And while I know this is just a story, it’s a bit offensive, but sort of slapstick at the same time, so I continued on. The novel then focuses on a man who is about to commit suicide, and shows him traversing the halls of a unknown place, only to end up in a room with a whole bunch of naked writhing, degenerate people doing horrible, disgusting things. At this point, I had no idea what was really happening, but continued on; I try to give novels the benefit of the doubt.

As it turns out, this entire novel is somewhat thrown together, jumping between heaven, hell, and earth, focusing on Screw and his mantra of hurt. It’s grotesque and fairly hard to follow, in my opinion, and I had a really hard time gaining a sense of purpose for the story as a whole. In retrospect, I think it’s supposed to be a kind of comical look at the world and people’s beliefs, but it’s so strange and out there that it fell flat for me. One star. 1-star1

I received this novel from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Kindle | Nook



12828047From Goodreads: Disturbing Bedtime Tales is an anthology that takes the medium of the fairytale and fable to new dimensions of dark and twisted, comedic surrealism. From the story of Brasnips the Pisswitch, who terrorises a village by slashing on its vegetable yield, to the fable of The Chronic Arsetronaut, the first sexist man in outer space, these fragmented parables will leave you wide-eyed and wondering if there really is a God.

The Liar, the Witch and the Wardrobe, The Angels of the Garden Shed and Wee Willy Knicker-Sniffer are the cautionary tales the Brothers Grimm nearly wrote but thought better of and the ideas Hans Christian Andersen dismissed as the onset of madness.

**THIS IS FOR ADULTS ONLY**

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These were extremely short and even more so vulgar.  From stuffing couches with feces, to random interjections of things like the titanic, mice, and gnomes, to a witch with melons for breasts and who pees on vegetables, this is not for me.  I was put off by how putrid the stories were, and I didn’t find them funny in the least.  The references to sex and sexual acts was also extremely off-putting and I don’t recommend this novel for anyone.  There was so much randomness and vulgarity, as if the author was trying to go for shock value, but in my opinion, it didn’t hit its mark.  It’s just gross.  The potential was there for a great read, but the vulgarity and random acts of disgust dropped it short. One and a half stars.

1.5  starsI received this anthology from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.



18043896From Goodreads: Nidad Reik, the last mundane king of Verneece has fallen to the treachery of the sorcerers who once served him. Now the usurpers have gathered from the four corners of the kingdom to divide the spoils of victory. Among those in attendance are the Puppeteer and his ward, the Fortune Teller; the Sword Prince and his latest trollop; the Lady of Perfumes and her guards and lovers; finally, there is the fearsome Stonegrinder, master of earth and stone. The night is filled with feasting, entertainment .and gaming. In the wee hours of a long, winter night there is also murder.

The survivors look upon each other with suspicion of treachery. Who committed the murders and why? Or is there an outside agency moving against them to lay claim to their victory?

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“Set in the Blackstone universe, the history of Verneece before the coming of Queen Spiral is revealed” in this novella by Jason Beineke, a prequel to the Blackstone series.  This imaginative fantasy series expounds on sorcery and world dominance, but for those of you who haven’t yet read the masterful Blackstone novels, then I highly suggest you begin with this novella, especially if you’re intrigued by world building, sorcery, and fantasy—this series is not one to be missed!

Complete with engaging characters able to bend the elements and wills of others, readers are introduced to a band of strong and able sorcerers come to divide the spoils of the conquered Verneece.  Although a tad vulgar and disturbing in places—drinking wine from a skull makes me shudder—this novella truly sets the scene for the murders and betrayal that takes place between the pages, and continues throughout the series, as the gifted magicians begin to suspect and fight amongst themselves.  Showing the vast corruption that pervaded the land prior to the seizing of power by Queen Spiral, a vicious queen readers will get to know in more depth in Drawing the Circle, this novella gives readers a taste of what is to come with its imaginative world, deceptive characters, and jarring situations.  It’s a great read that I enjoyed very much, though I do wish it was longer.  However, a longer read would defeat the purpose, as this novella is meant to whet the appetite for more, and that is exactly what it does.  Had the characters been a little more pleasant, I do believe their plight and overall fate would have left me feeling bereft.  As it is, however, these vile characters gain no sympathy from me.  Three stars.

3 stars



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